I had just finished 12 hours of work, went home in a hurry, shower and off to the airport. Had not gotten any sleep the night before so I had to chunk down some Redbulls during the day. I was crashing pretty hard that night.
So by the time I got to Changi I felt like crap. Genius! The wait there was just over an hour so I figured enough time for a couple beers.
Another 2 hour flight and I was in Bangkok at 8 in the morning. Tell you what though, the second I got out of the airport, breathing that humid air, I was good as new again.
Got to Dawin Hotel on Soi 4 in no time. Checked in and went for a walk down the Soi to get going. Spotted Bar 4 which I had plans to meet up with Tom and Erik, a couple friends from home. So I went back to the hotel, got something to eat and slept until around 3 PM.
Got up that afternoon and headed straight to Bar 4. Looked up as I got to the bar and Erik says “you’re late!” so I wave and walk in.
So we sink a couple and are soon joined by Tom. He’s Irish but had just flown in from Germany where he works, and was staying at the Dawin as well.
Well things only get better from here as we’re joined by bar girls and the conversations get warmer and the times merrier. Erik warms up the first girl and sends her my way as he got a missus. Poor bugger!
Sometime later we’re joined by a rival bargirl who spots an opportunity when her friend is away getting drinks, and sits on my lap and slips me a Kamagra. “For later”, she says. Now this is all new to me so I go with it. However, non of us show any strong interest and soon she loses hers.
Not sure how many beers later we walked out the bar but I for one was well buzzing. We walk to the famous Beer Garden where all the freelancers hangout and start on round two. By this time we’re talking shit about everything from work to life and Thailand and everything in between. Good times. These two blokes are great value and I hope to cross paths with them again on future trips.
By this time it’s getting late, Erik has to go get his missus who was busy getting her hair done, so we split with the intention of catching up again. Which unfortunately didn’t happen as we lost contact. We hadn’t had enough to drink and weren’t thinking straight I guess, so didn’t exchange numbers correctly.
After we split, me and Tom hit up Soi Cowboy.
I can’t quite remember which GoGo’s we headed to. It was the one with the girls out the front in cute uniforms. That should narrow it down.. Tell me if you know which one it is!
We sat down for a drink and soon had girls with us. Fast forward an hour and Tom is sitting there all cool and composed (despite being drunk as a bat) playing with his girl, while Mr Disaster over here has just about made every mistake you can make and by now even the Mamasan is half legless, stumbling around the joint.
Well we soon decide to call it a night. I’m the first to leave but when I come to barfine, the inevitable happens. I’m about 1.000 THB short and I ask Tom to hook me up. Who very unfortunately ends up exactly 1.000 THB short himself when about to leave. Sorry mate!
But turns out his girl was a good sport and sorted him out till they got to the hotel.
Needless to say I was pretty wrecked at the end of the first night, but still had the presence of mind to pop the Kamagra 30 minutes before we left the GoGo. Not sure whether it worked or not as I had never taken anything and was curious. But I sure as shit knew I had taken it the next day when I woke up with a splitting headache. Or was that the hangover? I can’t tell..
Either way it was a great start to my spiritual journey from Bangkok to Pattaya.
Woke up bright and early at the crack of noon.
Headed to the BusStop Restaurant and had an amazing Pad Thai that put life back into me. Sat there watching people for a bit before heading off for a walk to exchange some money and get more familiar with the surroundings.
I hadn’t had my phone on me the previous day so I didn’t have any Thai numbers. I headed back to Bar 4 around 3 PM hoping either Tom or Erik would be there again. I quickly spotted the first girl from the day before and started getting more friendly with her while I waited. After about an hour I was a little horny and I went back to the hotel with her.
Back at the hotel she hands me a note she finds by the door. It’s Tom’s number. He must have missed me at the hotel. Happy to be in contact again I message him to catch up at night.
That night I force myself up but the girl is still fast asleep, and I had to almost pick her up to wake her. I tell her I’m going out and will be back later. She barely acknowledges it and rolls over. This is something I love about Thai girls and something they like about me too. I must be one of the few guys they’ve come across who likes to sleep more than they do. I’ve knocked back action before in favor of sleep.
Anyway, I catch up with Tom at Bar 4 for one drink before we head to DayNightbar.
A couple later and I’m feeling a bit fatigued. I head back to the hotel for an hour’s rest which just does the trick. I then head back to the bar and sit at the front where we previously were, but there’s no sign of Tom. So I message him to see where he is while I sit there and have a beer and take pictures of the Nana Plaza area, which is surprisingly busy for off peak season. But I guess this is Bangkok after all.
I soon get a message from Tom saying he’s still at the bar sitting at the same spot. So I look around and realize I’m not even at the right bar. D’oh! I was sitting at Zen Bar instead on the right hand side of Nana Plaza. But while I was there they played about 4 AC/DC tracks back to back which gave me energy and put me in a good mood. So I relocate and am soon drinking at the right bar again.
We decide to take it slow tonight and enjoy the atmosphere. Then it’s time for me to have my first GoGo tour. We enter the Plaza and take a left and head straight up. The first GoGo we went into was Rainbow Girls or something. It was an average GoGo but with some real top shelf talent. We sit down and have a drink and enjoy the views but soon get bored as there’s nothing special happening.
We head out and slip into Spanky’s a Go Go. NOW you’re talking. This GoGo turned out to be the best experience I had this trip and one that I unfortunately kept comparing all my Pattaya ones too. Angelwitch was somewhat on par but that’s a later day.
I don’t know what made it so much fun for me. The smacking, the atmosphere, the girls at the time, the shows, or just a combination of everything. Not to mention Tom’s company. We both had a great time there that night.
I particularly liked this crazy girl who was running around butt naked in these big fluffy bunny slippers. She would do nasty things like pretend to pluck pubes off herself and put them in the beers. Or at least I hope she was pretending. I’m quite fond of the crazy ones. So pretty soon I had her on my lap while enjoying the shows.
I briefly contemplated paying the barfine and taking her back to the hotel. But then I remembered I already had a girl there. You talk about your first world problems. Then I half thought how both girls would react if I did it anyway. But I decided against it and just enjoyed the experience instead.
Not sure how long we were there but we never did finish our GoGo tour. But I was happy and didn’t mind. Tom was busy with a sweet looking girl the whole time and at some point all three of us walked out, and I said my goodbyes to him as I was leaving for Pattaya the next morning.
He happily reports that she turned out to be a little nymph who destroyed half his room.
With goodbyes said, I stumbled back to the hotel and fell asleep on a soft pair of nom noms.
Reached Pattaya at 12 PM. It took the driver exactly 2 hours to get there. Which was odd because on the way back it was only an hour’s drive. And the second guy wasn’t going particularly faster, and we seemed to be on the same highway. And it was cheaper too. I booked through the hotel and paid them.
Checked into April Suites, which is a spitting image of Dawin Bangkok Hotel. Very clean, modern and friendly. Pool on the roof, along with spa, sauna and gym. Not that you need the gym.
Now I have no basis for comparison, but I assume most hotels in Pattaya are the same. When ladies walk in with you they have to surrender their IDs at reception. And when they leave, you get a call saying the lady is leaving, and you have to ok it or they won’t let them out. Not fool proof security but a nice touch. The only thing I didn’t like about this was the fact that the hotel pretty much ends up with a record of all your short time and long time affairs..
And another quick note about April Suites. If anyone does end up staying there, do yourself a favor. Grab a card from reception. It has a map on the back of it. Despite being a popular, decent sized hotel, no one seemed to know where it was. I probably jumped on about half a dozen scooters the first couple of nights before I figured out the baht bus routes, and not one of them knew where April Suites was. Maybe just my luck.
Anyway, the first thing I did was grab something to eat at the hotel. Then went out for a walk to change money then got on beach road, and pretty much started a gradual bar hop. By about 8 PM I was at Swiss Bar and already three sheets to the wind. Was sitting at the front and had the privilege of watching the amusing show of an Italian guy tying to pick up a girl for his very hot sister. He seemed to have succeeded and was now haggling over prices. I distinctly heard the words, “my sister very good for you”. And this Italian girl was gorgeous. It made my heart sink a bit. But I remember smiling to myself thinking, only in Pattaya!
After that I decided to cross the street and check out Coconut Bar. Pleasant enough walk till you get to the road works. Then it’s time to cross back. But during that short walk I saw my second amusing sight for the night. It was what I can only describe as the fattest freelancer I have ever seen. You talk about catering to a niche market. And she wasn’t shy either.
Eventually got to Walking Street and the first thing I did was walk all the way to the end and back again, taking note of where everything was. Looking for familiar signs and places I had memorized from videos and pictures.
Now the pictures I took aren’t actually blurry. I noticed that’s just how Pattaya is at night. Not sure why.
Again, a good crowd there for off peak season but not an uncomfortable amount.
Soon I popped down on a stool at Hot Tuna and listened to some good band music. A few Russian hotties in there and good general vibes. This was a place I would come back to every night in Pattaya. Then I started getting restless and hit up a couple of a Go Go’s. I ended up with a barfine at Living Dolls and before I knew it I was trying to explain to a driver where April Suites was. He had to ask a few people but we eventually got there.
Well the girl turned out a star fish but she was hot as hell so I didn’t mind.
As I lie in bed I realized I was being a soft cunt and it led to me getting my lazy ass out to Walking Street again. And this started a chain of events that led to my “engagement” to the same girl for the next three days.
This time I didn’t screw around and took a scooter straight to Walking Street. I had to make a couple of passes of Soi Diamond before I found it since the neon sign was burnt out.
I started with Spanky’s thinking it would be similar to the Bangkok one. It turned out to be just another average GoGo when I got in. But it did add some flavor to my night. After I ordered a drink a girl sure enough managed to find herself next to me. I decided to buy her a drink and have something soft to play with while I finished my beer. We exchanged a few pleasantries and she started warming up to me. Then she starts sniffing me and seems to like it. I guess it must have been the cologne I was wearing, because she started yelling at her friends and all of a sudden there are about 4 girls lined up, taking turns sniffing my face. I didn’t mind it, but it was a slightly awkward experience at first.
Soon I finish my drink and head out the door and spot Windmill a bit further on. I pop straight in and immediately I like it. Well.. at first sight anyway. It was definitely a dirty GoGo where you could wet your lips as well as fingers, but as I started to have a good look around I noticed the quality of the girls in there was pretty much south of the boarder. Which you’d probably expect from a GoGo like this but Spanky’s in Bangkok was similar and the women in there were hot!
Windmill was different though. I mean some of these girls.. rough looking.
I decide I’ll come back another night and try to finish my drink quick. But before I have a chance to, a girl popped out of nowhere who looks very different. Paler skin and slightly more slanted eyes than your average Thai girl. She’s gorgeous and doesn’t quite seem to belong in there. She popped down next to me and I immediately gesture for a drink.
We get to talking and I ask her where she’s from. She says “papa from China, mama from Thailand”.
I don’t waste much time and we end up walking out together. I’m a bit more energetic now and don’t feel like going back to the hotel yet since it’s still a bit early. We go get something to eat first and afterwards pop into the Pier Club. She says she likes shisha and so I order one since I don’t mind it either.
Well this shisha turned out to be slightly different. I’ve had lots before but they never really did anything for me. But after a couple of puffs I notice myself getting looser, with more energy, more alert and less drunk. So I switch to coke and keep puffing. A few minutes later I feel as high as giraffe pussy and we’re happily dancing around the stage.
Soon we’re joined by two of her friends, one of them Chinese and the other Thai. We sit around and they order another shisha. We get more friendly and for the rest of the night I end up with three girls in and out of my lap, all taking turns passing me shisha smoke mouth to mouth. And a lot more sniffing. But by now I like it.
Eventually a very fun night comes to an end and we retire to the hotel. To say I had the best boom boom I’ve had for a long time would be an understatement. She bit and scratched a lot though. Especially my ears, which I didn’t like.
But then I happily pass out with this sweet little 22 year old in my arms.
I decided to do at least one tourist thing in Pattaya. So we headed to the Floating Market.
No idea how the ticketing or entry system works there. She held me by the hand like a big kid and I followed. At the ticket counter she got me a sticker (didn’t pay so I assume entry is free) and walked me to the entrance. There was a long line of Chinese people slowly getting in but she said something to the guy at the front and we skipped the line. All a mystery to me.
The market was a big disappointment and nothing special. I was expecting something organic like the old floating city of Muslim Migrants of Phuket (or is it near Phi Phi somewhere? I’ve never been but heard about it). This was just an artificial looking, commercialized tourist trap.
But there were some nice sights. And I noticed aside from the staff and the shopkeepers the visitors were all Chinese. Without exception. Not exaggerating here. After a while I was looking to see if I could spot a non Chinese. No luck. Not even a damn Russian!
And aside from a couple of nice views, the rest was all just shops with a load of old junk that only tourists and idiots get excited by.
It was a fairly warm day so we went back to the hotel for a couple of hours. Refreshed, we headed back in the afternoon and did the usual rounds. Which was the point I noticed myself in a daily pattern which I decided to break. As fun as this girl was, I was on my first trip to Pattaya and it was time to move on. I’d barfine her for the last time tonight, but decided to keep that to myself till the next day.
It was an average night so I can’t quite remember what we did. Except hit up Blue Sky and Hot Tuna again.
Afterwards we head to Windmill for the barfine. I waited in there for 5 minutes while she went upstairs to change.
She soon came back down and we headed out. She had a little bag with her which she told me to hold for her and I said no, you hold it. She made a joke about it and I smiled and kept walking. This was the first night where it really rained in Pattaya. I noticed the downpour was getting worse and decided to quickly taxi it to the hotel before it really started coming down. We ended up in a baht bus instead and were soon there.
Half way through I noticed she was a bit quiet. So I tickled her knee and no response. I say something to her when we get off the bus and she turns away from me and keeps walking. Well… this is an interesting turn of events. I thought she was playing at first but turned out she was having a serious hissy fit. So I decided to go with it. I knew it was about the bag so I let her sit there and be grumpy while I watched TV and sank a couple of beers. Then I got up to have a smoke and on my way to the balcony I kissed her on the cheek without saying anything.
When I came back in she was a bit more responsive. We started talking and sure enough, it was about the bag. I tried to explain the nature of our relationship as delicately as I could. Telling her how I had to eventually leave and go back home and shit like that. Her logic and response was yes but we’re together now. And then I remembered something someone mentioned earlier. “They’re still women after all”. And this was barely a woman to begin with. A school girl’s hissy fit.
So I slowly turn her mood around with jokes and kisses and we check to see if the rain has stopped and it has.
When we’re out of the hotel I decide to get off the beaten path and explore some of the quieter bars down the main street parallel with Beach Road, where the hotel was. Heading up north towards the Corner Bar end of Soi 6. On the way to the right side of the road we stop at a place called Jimmy’s Place.
It’s a quiet night for them. There are a couple of girls behind the bar and a couple more playing pool.
One of the girls behind the bar catches my eye though. She’s got this sort of fire in her. And she’s trying her best to get customers in the door. After a beer she pulls out games for us to play but I’m not interested. I ask the girl with me to play and she’s not in the mood either. She insists and we finally settle on connect four. We play a round, which I try my very best to win, and succeed. But I’m somehow not satisfied. Feels like she let me win. Happens a lot to me. Then she suggests we change the game. Two chips at once and it’s connect five. I say OK. I try and concentrate hard but within 3 moves she’s got me beat. Yeah OK… she definitely let me win last time.
Every once in a while, half way through conversation she would gently say “excuse me”, get up, climb the bar and start yelling at people across the street to get them into the bar. Not sure how long she’s been trying this strategy for, but it wasn’t working that night.
And every once in a while she would just jump in the middle of the bar (where they had a dancing pole) and enjoy herself silly. At this point I began to realize she was bat shit ting tong, and all I wanted to do was just bend her over that bar. So I made a note to come back for her the next night.
I don’t really like posting pics of girls I’ve taken but in case of her I’ll make an exception.
Now believe me when I tell you this pic doesn’t do her justice. She had these big, juicy lips, gorgeous eyes and this demeanor that just made you want to grab her and get stuck in. Very sexy.
It was time to move on. We got out of the bar and made some sort of a weird detour and ended up in some dark back alley. Nothing there so I took a left and headed back towards Beach Road. It was about 2 AM now and most of the little bars were closed so not much more to explore.
As we were heading back to Beach Road I noticed the large number of ladyboys around. This is the only time I had bit of an ‘oh oh’ moment in Pattaya, wandering the dodgy Sois of Pattaya at the hour of the kathoey. But turns out I was just paranoid.
We soon find ourselves in bright lights and slowly pace Coconut Bar, which made for a very pleasant, leisurely walk this time of the night.
Then up onto a Baht bus and back to Walkin Street, where we ended up back at iBar to blow a little more smoke in the air.
The night ended there and we headed back to the hotel, stopping to get something to eat first.
Woke up in the afternoon and said my goodbye to the girl I had been with for about half the week.
Went out to eat but kept it light as my guts had been playing big time since the previous day. I then relaxed by the pool to refresh and wait for the sun to go down. At sundown I hit the streets again on my usual runs. After 3 (possibly 4?) days with the same girl, it was good to be on the prowl again.
I decided to for a long barhop in favor of an extensive GoGo crawl instead. And I still had LK Metro on the back of my mind as well which I thought I could go back to later.
Well after a couple of beers here and there I made it back to Walkin Street and headed for some live music again before attempting the marathon. But after about my 6th beer or so I started to feel unusually drunk for the amount I had had to drink. I was getting queasy and lightheaded and couldn’t concentrate. So I thought I’d better head back to the hotel and lie down for a bit. The night was still young, I could come back a couple of hours later and would still have the better part of the night to play with.
By the time I got to the hotel I felt really cold. Took a hot shower to warm up but when I got out the air con had really cooled the room so I just slit under the covers. And that’s when the fun really began.
I started to shiver so bad I didn’t have the ability to get up and turn off the air con. The best I could do was move to the side of the bed where I wasn’t in line of sight with it. The rest of the night I was curled up as tight as I could under the blankets.
Woke up the next day in cold sweats and a slight fever. But since I hadn’t had a big drinking session the night before at least I wasn’t too hangover. I took a couple of pain killers and went back to sleep.
I felt a little better when I woke up in the afternoon but I still had a fever and wasn’t 100 percent. So I drank a lot of water and lay there watching TV. Then I started getting slowly pissed off at the whole situation. No way I was gonna spend the rest of my time in Pattaya like this.
So I decided to drag my ass out of bed and head for one place that I wasn’t about to leave without checking out. I was determined to have a soapie at Sabai Dee even if I had to crawl all the way there.
So I took some more pain killers, took a shower and went downstairs for a light beer. Half way through my San Miguel I remembered that “light” here meant low carb and not low alcohol. But oh well.. Turns out the beer actually did me some good . I had the energy for a leisurely walk now and soon headed up towards the direction of Soi 6. Then kept walking till I spotted Sabai Dee. I noticed a couple of other big massage places before getting to it, which looked pretty damn good as well, but I had heard a lot about Sabai Dee so I headed right in there.
Sat down with another beer when I got in and had a nice long perv on the ladies. Finally decided on one and retired upstairs for the entertainment.
It was an enjoyable experience. I’ll definitely be having at least one soapie every trip now. Seems even a good way to kick start off one. By the time I was out on the street I felt almost good as new again. The rush of endorphin’s must have given my immune system a boost. Now there was only one other thing I had to fix. So I headed right into McDonald’s.
I figured the nasty, greasy meat, that cardboard bread, the starch and the plastic cheese would hold my stomach together like plumbers cement. And sure enough, in a couple of hours I felt pretty solid again.
So off to the hotel to get changed and out on the street again. This was my last night in Pattaya and I was gonna make the most of it.
Fast forward a little and I’m back where I left off the night before. I decided to head straight for Babydolls since that was another place on my hit list. But before I got to it, I spotted Angelwitch and decided to check that out first. Well as it turns out I’m a weak, spineless man with no self discipline, who isn’t destined for a proper GoGo crawl. I didn’t make it past Anglewitch.
But did I enjoy myself in there or what. At first it struck me as just another boring ass GoGo, but as a rule of thumb I always order at least one drink in every joint so as I sat there finishing it, the place slowly grew on me.
The first thing I noticed was how the girls entered the oval shaped stage. Angelwitch is a double story GoGo with a balcony, like an old theater where you can sit and enjoy the view from a higher angle. Around the stage are poles and above is a catwalk, where the girls walk in and then slide down onto the stage. When a whole procession of them slides down in rapid succession, it’s quite a sight.
And throughout the night they had various shows and entertainment, followed by the girls dancing back on the stage again. And of course the ping pong balls which you buy and throw at the girls. But I find that a little too much and have never liked it.
Anyway, before the first set of shows began I found myself mesmerized by a nice big pair of nom noms that held my attention like a lava lamp. They were obviously fake but still had a nice, natural bounce to them. And truth be told, I like the fake ones. Nice, big and firm.
So I didn’t waste time. I had her next to me with a drink just in time for the shows. The stage goes dark and a bunch of girls come in doing their thing, and she jumps up on my lap and settles in. So I have my drink in one hand, while the other is busy with the twins and occasional visits south of the border.
By the time the general entertainment stops I’m negotiating the barfine and soon we’re out of there. It’s my last night and there is no way in hell I’m going back to the hotel early. So we hit iBar for more drinks and shisha, which seems to really brighten her night.
The rest of the night in there was just good old fun while we drank and screwed around. Then there was one point where after a dance she turned around and decided to start using my knee to make herself happy while giving me these deep french kisses. A couple of songs and a very public display later, she had a naughty smile on her face and I had a little wet patch on my knee. I feel her up and she’s soaking through her little short shorts. By this time it’s around 4 AM and I have a taxi picking me up in 4 hours for the airport. Time to get back to the hotel for one last bit of fun with this lovely creature.